I was talking with my sister Judy tonight and she reminded me of some things that should really be forgotten, and as she reminded me she was laughing! Like the time her daughter Lynn, who was probably 6 or 7 at the time and I was about 16 or 17 , went with me to pick up a pizza. I don't remember the incident - I think it must be a repressed memory - but during the conversation this very angelic youngster looked at whoever I was talking to in the restaurant and very innocently said "don't worry, she's just horny." This same niece saw Santa Claus walking into a liquor store once and demanded to know why he was going in there. I simply told her that he was probably picking up the beer that was on someones Christmas wish list.
Of course my sister always delights in telling anyone who will listen about the time she took me to the movies in downtown Colorado Springs. I was probably 4 or 5 and she was 14 or 15. We were walking back to our folks restaurant, waiting to cross the street. Evidently I didn't want to go to the restaurant so I started stomping my little cowboy booted feet and yelling "shit, shit, shit" at the top of my lungs. I think I must be lucky that I still have my arms LOL.
She reminded me that we must come by our embarrassing moments naturally - like from our mother who was notorious for wetting her pants in unusual places. Judy recalled a time that she and mom were getting off the bus to walk the rest of the way home, when mom grabbed a light pole and wet her pants. I remember a couple of other times - once when we put my niece Michelle on one of those 10 cent pony rides and mom laughed so hard she peed, or the other time when we were out on a fishing boat for the first time with my son Sean, who was about 3 at the time. His dad and grandpa were trying to convince him to pee over the side of the boat and when he finally did, mom was laughing so hard she fell off the boat seat and wet her pants. Mom's no longer around to defend herself, but I'm sure she'd laugh at the reminders - we'd just be prepared this time!
Or then there was the time I walked into a plate glass window in downtown Colorado Springs and got a bloody nose, or the time my brother-in-law Don walked right through the screen door at their house.
How about the time that my friends Sandy, Marty and I were driving around in Sandy's VW late at night (drinking no doubt) and decided to drive into one of the city parks. We had parked the VW and got out, and here came the Park Patrol.
Patrolman Zunich - "What are you doing out here son?"
Marty - "I just broke up with my girlfriend and needed a place to think."
Patrolman Zunich - "Son, don't you know girls are like buses - there's one along every 15 minutes."
Sandy and I were laughing so hard, I'm surprised he couldn't hear us.
OK, one more and then I'm done. Sean was in preschool and I went to pick him up one day. He was sitting in the corner and told me I had to talk with teacher before he could get up. The teacher then informed me that Sean has been a "potty mouth" and I said "no shit" and she said "that's exactly what he said!" Boy was I embarrassed, but as you can see from above - what goes around comes around.
I'm sure that there are many more forgettable (but not regrettable) incidents, and I'm sure that most of them involved spirits of one kind or another. But boy did we sure have fun! Use the comment box to share some of your forgettable memories .....
I remember a boating trip with grandma, probably not the same one, but she showed me how to roll up the cuffs of my jeans so that I had a place to put my trash. :)
ReplyDeleteNo wonder whenever Sean and I out at the lake he wants to pee in the water (joking). Wow, too I thought I was from a crazy family but look what I married into.... Just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI have some pretty funny memories too. For some reason I had bathroom issues growing up. I remember vividly that I thought one of our family friend's toilet was trying to eat me cause the lid fell on my and was scrunching me down... I was screaming.
The other one was when we went camping and my dad set up a potty pit with a fallen tree as the "seat." I was trying to use it when all of the sudden I slid backwards and the next thing I knew I was hanging upside down by my knees, pants at ankles, thinking I was going to fall in the poo. My sister and friend Angie wouldn't help me.... instead they went back to the camp (leaving me there crying) and brought everyone back. I was about 7 years old. It is still a story my family's friends that were there like to tell.